Marriage: A Union For Spritual Growth

Printer Friendly Version

Just as our physical evolution has expanded, enabling us to make changes in our living environment, so too our spiritual growth has expanded. We are no longer nomads on barren land competing for survival and sustenance. We have successfully completed our institutional requirement of marriage ‘till death do us part’ and are now evolving into a higher realm of spirituality. “Life is not about staying unconscious and in bliss. Life is about experiencing reality, actualizing our potential selves in the process of going through life that always includes suffering. Consciousness often sets us on a journey.” (Vaughn, 1991). We must now complete the karma we have from past lives and try to avoid creating any negative karma at present. Should we chose not to make the necessary changes in our lives, we run the risk of creating negativity.

Cultural barriers are coming down. Men are seen more and more as sharing in the nurturing and household responsibilities, while women are venturing out into the world of science. Cultural barriers regarding marriage need to start coming down, too. Men and women need to develop their masculine/feminine sides in order to create a new significance in marriage and to promote their spiritual growth. “We’re homesick for inner wholeness, homesick for unity with both the mother and the father aspects of God, homesick for our creative will to be at one with its source.” (Karpinski, 1990:38).

Loyalty and commitment set in stone forever should not be part of our marriage vows. There should be loyalty and commitment to each other, our union, and our family until we, as man and woman have completed our karma with each other by attaining our goal for this lifetime. Then, each one, like a tree in spring reaching for the sun, needs to branch out even further to get closer to the Light:

“The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart. This kind of inner shift can only happen when our questions or difficulties really touch us and arouse our willingness to approach things in a new way. Our problems may not disappear, but they become workable because we see them in a new context: Instead of feeling victimized by them, we find them calling on us to make important changes and grow in new directions. When our context shifts in this powerful, fundamental kind of way, it reveals paths across terrain that had previously seemed forbidding and impenetrable. Then the how-to’s start to take care of themselves.” (Wellwood, 1990:6).

At the same time we raise our conscious awareness and eliminate the feelings of hurt and rejection felt by ourselves, and our partners, when we are in the midst of exploring new territories for spiritual growth. “In order to grasp this sacred symbolic level, we need to set aside the modern penchant for scientific social analysis and instead look to sacred stories for instruction.” (Moore, 1994:46).

Fifty percent of all marriages today end in divorce and yet it is still an unthinkable option. The concept of marriage as an institution ‘till death do us part’ has prevailed for so long and has been ingrained in us to the point where, although we know we must move on, our conscious is filled with guilt and we are stuck at the impasse. “Do we suffer because an authoritarian father God punishes us for our sins, or because we are the helpless/hapless authors of our own fate?” (Borysenko, 1993:32). Once we remove the blocks to our path and accept marriage, with an indefinite term, as a union for spiritual growth there will be no ugly divorces, broken-hearted children, or guilt-ridden adults. Unlike Susanna Rowson’s character, we will not crumble, take ill, and die. Our families will become larger as we embrace new people in our lives.

As with any new style of living, removing our old ideas about marriage as a permanent relationship between two people and accepting it as a union for spiritual growth, which allows two people to come together for however long they need to meet their karmic obligations to each other, and then to continue their growth on separate paths, takes a great deal of adjustment. It was very difficult for our great-grandparents to move from their farms to factories for the promise of a better future for their children. And it was even more difficult for our parents to adjust to the demands of a mobile society, which separated families across the country and around the world, in order to move up the corporate ladder, with the promise of a better future for us. It has been difficult for us trying to adapt changes for women’s equality. So, too, it will be difficult for our children to accept marriage as a long-term, but not permanent, commitment, knowing that eventually their marriage will terminate and they will need to move on.

The end of a marriage does not denote a failure. On the contrary, the end of a marriage is the completion of one portion of our lessons and the opportunity to continue with our spiritual growth.




Borysenko, Joan. Fire In The Soul. New York: Warner Books, Inc., 1993.

Karpinski, Gloria D. Where Two Worlds Touch. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990.

Moore, Thomas. Soul Mates. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 1994.

Rowson, Susanna. Charlotte Temple. New York: Penguin Group, 1991.

Vaughn, Frances. The Path of Love: The Psychology of Relationships. Colorado: Sounds True Recordings, 1991.

Wellwood, John. Journey of The Heart. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1990.

Printer Friendly Version

Copyright © 2010 - 2016.
All Rights Reserved.